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luckystar_30

Coestte - a novel

Has anyone read this book? I just picked it up from a used bookstore this weekend. It was written in 2005 by an american woman and is supposed to be the sequel to Les Mis. It follows Cosette and Marius after their marriage. I'm about 200 pages in (of around 600) and was just wondering what your opinions on it were!
The Very Angry Woman

Re: Cosette - a novel

luckystar_30 wrote:
Has anyone read this book? I just picked it up from a used bookstore this weekend. It was written in 2005 by an american woman and is supposed to be the sequel to Les Mis. It follows Cosette and Marius after their marriage. I'm about 200 pages in (of around 600) and was just wondering what your opinions on it were!


2005?

Try 1995.

http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,298074,00.html
luckystar_30

All right, yes, Cosette is dull and overwrought and corny (somebody actually calls someone else ''my little peach pit''), but at least you can say this about it: It leaves the door open for a sequel. C-

I just read the peach pit part....this book is not looking very good!

and you're right, it is 1995!
lesmisloony

Reading that book in high school was one of the worst decisions I've ever made.
Fantine

Uh oh. I foresee some bad, bad things.
MlleTholomy�s

The Kalpakian one is nothing. True Mizzies read Ceresa.
lesmisloony

^ and then tear their eyes out.
MlleTholomy�s

Or choke on their giggles. Pubic moustaches? Srsly, this guy is a genius.
Jagienka

These sequels should be burned. Not like I'd be a book-burning type of person, but sacrilege is sacrilege. *pets Hugo*
Moci

"...the raspberry tips of her breasts..."

Most unintentionally hilarious drivel that I've ever read.
luckystar_30

I've made it 300 pages in. I just can't continue. I feel like I must give up on this book. I had such high hopes for it...ok, not high hopes, but I was looking forward to some decent entertainment. Tripe. Complete tripe!
MlleTholomy�s

luckystar_30 wrote:
I've made it 300 pages in. I just can't continue. I feel like I must give up on this book. I had such high hopes for it...ok, not high hopes, but I was looking forward to some decent entertainment. Tripe. Complete tripe!


Ceresa!Cosette > K!Cosette.

THE Catman, pubic moustaches, Marius I'm-sometimes-a-lawyer-but-I'm-an-avowed-theatre-critic Pimpmercy, crazy cat lady, Cosette becomes an useless hoe, is eye-raped by creepy senator friend of Marius, Marius turns into a pimp, "Verjat," Cosette is bffles with Verjat, Marius gets arrested, gets the number "9430," people believe him to be Jesus, Marquis de la creep helps Cosette during her pregnancy, Marius is told the story of Colonel Pontmercy at Waterloo by another prisoner, a son named "Jean," and did I mention pubic moustaches?

The sequel is even BETTER. Marius flees to the US, adopting the name, "Howard Smith," meets historical characters, and stops Louis-Philippe on his way back home.

Cosette, is Thenardier's bitch now, she trains a pack of rats to fight for her, and meets George Sand, who protects her.

Javert is on the run, guarding Jean, Cosette's child, he uses "forensics" to track down Thenardier, and after he gives Jean back to Cosette, does something.

tl;dr: I love this book so blasted much.
lesmisloony

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2590793/1/The_Annotated_Cosette

Ever since I read that fic back in '05 I've feared the Ceresa...
What you own

MlleTholomy�s wrote:
The Kalpakian one is nothing. True Mizzies read Ceresa.


Thats whole article gave me a good laugh. Some of my favorites where...

Quote:
(we don't know if he also smokes dope or reads Village Voice, but it's a fair bet).


Quote:
Recurring Theme #1: Dogs returning to eat their own vomit. Don't ask.


Quote:
Odors: Cosette's always smelling of lemon and green tea, Javert of oranges and old prayer books. A new scent from Calvin Klein? Are they drawn to each other because they both reek of citrus?


And Cosette really trains rats. Real rats!! There not..maybe a gang..or street chilldren..but rats...?
Moci

lesmisloony wrote:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2590793/1/The_Annotated_Cosette

Ever since I read that fic back in '05 I've feared the Ceresa...


I remember NF posting that on an old Les Mis forum years ago. I think that she summed up just what exactly makes it so bad that it's good. That book really is the gift that keeps on giving. Just when you think that it can't get any worse, you get yet another reason to start laughing uncontrollably.
lesmisloony

Like Twilight!

*ducks and runs*
MlleTholomy�s

lesmisloony wrote:
Like Twilight!

*ducks and runs*


Twilight's like, an ultra-super-hard attempt at comedy. No, excuse me-- an ultra-super-hard-successful attempt at comedy.
Fantine

Oh my God:
Even more scrumptious is Marius's disguise: he's been shaving his pubic hair (I am not making this up) and has some glue-like substance that he's used to make a fake moustache. Insert your own French joke here.
Jagienka

I think I won't try Ceresa. I might stab my eyes out. I mean... WTF?! And the court allowed this? Poor Mizzies are all turning in their graves... especially Javert. How did it come to this madman to resurrect him?
MlleTholomy�s

Fantine wrote:
Oh my God:
Even more scrumptious is Marius's disguise: he's been shaving his pubic hair (I am not making this up) and has some glue-like substance that he's used to make a fake moustache. Insert your own French joke here.


And this is why Ceresa is my newest idol.
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