Factory-Girl
|
Les Mis AbridgedHey everyone, I'm new to the place and am still kinda shy about posting, but I'm happy to be among other Les Mis lovers!
Anyways, I wanted to share this. I'm not advertising for something I did or anything, I just think it's hysterical:
http://www.broadwayabridged.com/scripts/lesmiserables.shtml
Sorry if anyone's posted this, I did a search and didn't find anything. (:
Yeah, it makes fun of the show a little, but it's all in good fun. You can't make fun of something unless you love it, right? Well, maybe. But still.
(and if you thought this topic was about abridged versions of the Brick, you're not alone. When my friend first showed me this, I said "Abridged? I read an abridged version, they cut out WAY too much!")
|
EponineBarker
|
Hey there! Nice to see another Les Mis fan! 
| Quote: | SCENE: EPONINE'S PATHETIC PSYCHE.
Enter a very beautiful girl playing the novel's ugliest most-toothless character.
EPONINE
Come on 14 year old girls, hold hands and sing along!
(singing)
ON MY OWN
THERE ONCE WAS A GUY I LIKED A LOT
EXCEPT HE DIDN'T LIKE ME BA-ACK
AND I CRIED I WISH THAT HE HAD LIKED ME
AND THAT IS WHY I SYMPATHIZE WITH EPONINE WHEN SHE'S SHOT.
Adolescent girls everywhere sing it at Sweet Sixteens.
If you encounter one of these girls, please feel free to give them a sharp flick of their earlobes, on behalf of the authors. |
| Quote: | | MARIUS (has completed his 2.5 seconds of caring about Eponine) OK, so who wants a drink? (flings Eponine's body to the ground) |
| Quote: | | JEAN VALJEAN (looking at an almost-dead Marius) Hey, this is the kid who impregnated my fake daughter a few minutes ago! I ought to save him with my super old man strength! |
*cracks up* That's funny, I love it! Thanks for posting it!
|
CabaretGirl
|
Best parts:
| Quote: | ENJOLRAS
(singing)
RED!
GANG
THE COLOR OF SOME BLOOD!
ENJOLRAS
BLACK!
GANG
THE COLOR OF NOT WHITE! |
| Quote: | JEAN VALJEAN
TOMORROW IS IMPENDING!
ENJOLRAS
TOMORROW HAS MEANINGFUL MEANING!
JAVERT
(what we always thought the real
lyric was:)
ONE MORE DAY TILL REVOLUTION
WE WILL NIP IT IN THE BUD
I WILL JOIN THESE LITTLE SCHOOLBOYS.
THEY WILL WET THEMSELVES!
JEAN VALJEAN
I AM SINGING!
ENJOLRAS
I AM SINGING WHILE HE IS SINGING!
EVERYBODY
(together marching idiotically)
I AM SINGING
WHILE SHE IS SINGING
WHILE HE IS SINGING
AND HOT DAMN ISN'T THIS DRAMATICALLY EFFECTIVE!
|
| Quote: | MARIUS
This musical is definitely TOO SHORT and it's just FLYING BY!
Let's take a moment to eulogize some minor characters we
never bothered to get to know in the first place.
(singing)
THERE ARE CHAIRS AND THERE ARE TABLES
THEY ARE MADE OF LOTS OF WOOD
NOW MY FRIENDS ARE NOT ALIVE NOW
THAT IS BAD, NO IT'S NOT GOOD.
And finally, an hour and a half after
having met him, we've CHARACTERIZED THE
CHARACTER ONCE PLAYED BY MICHAEL BALL.
|
Mwaha! Priceless.
|
